Q. What is “National Healthcare”?
A. Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by the Three Stooges of the
Wholecaust (of which the Holocaust was a part): ~60 million served by the
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics; ~50 million served by the Peoples’ Republic
of China; and ~20 million served by the National Socialist German Workers’
Party. There, it was discovered that a patient could be made to forget
the pain in his foot if he was starving from lack of food, freezing from lack
of clothing, or dying from lack of heat and electricity in his home, or even
if he was simply poked in the eye. All of the treatment was provided "free."
Sometimes the modern medicine could be provided by transferring the patient
for treatment by specialists in camps at far-away places. The travel
and lodging was all provided “free” by the government. It led many
governments to an astounding medical procedure to end ALL sickness: kill
ALL sick people. http://rexcurry.net/doctor.html
Q. I just love that socialized medicine idea and the price sounds right!
How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. It will be
comparable to obtaining toilet paper (think of THAT as a "healthcare" topic
too). Your government will tell you where to go and how long to stay
there. The doctors basically fall into two categories – those who are accepting
new patients to add to their waiting lists, and those who are in the same
camp with you. But don't worry, there remains the possibility of actually
paying a doctor for competent prompt care. After you have been cured
you will be convicted for your crimes, tortured and imprisoned and/or executed
but not necessarily in that order. You can also get on the waiting
list for permission to travel to a barbaric capitalist country that hasn’t
progressed to socialized medicine, but why would you? Even so, many
barbaric countries are progressing as their governments legislate wonderful
HMO schemes and other laws in the constant moves toward socialism.
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. No procedure requires anything and its all free as your right under
the law. If you ever have any problem with any doctor or facility, just
remind them that healthcare is your right under the law, and that you are
entitled to it for free. Any further problems should be addressed in a letter
to the regulatory office (a great replacement for the lawsuits of old).
You have the right to write your name on the list as many times as you care
to stand in line, even hourly, daily, monthly or yearly. Once your
turn for care arrives, and assuming you still need care, it will be “free.”
And remember, funerals are also “free” and are even considered part of the
comprehensive healthcare quality-control system. If you die,
please let us know so that your name can be removed from the waiting list
and other names can move up.
Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment. And also
see the previous answer.
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment. Afterward, you
will be convicted for your crimes, tortured and executed but not necessarily
in that order. You can also get on the waiting list for permission
to travel to a barbaric capitalist country that hasn’t fully progressed to
socialized medicine, but why would you? Even so, many barbaric countries
are progressing as their governments legislate wonderful HMO schemes and
other laws in the constant moves toward socialism. So you better
hurry!
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand.
I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should
I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye. Remember, with socialized medicine
you will not be confused and ripped off with “name brands” and dizzying
choices. Also, the best treatment for stomach ache is vodka.
In fact its medicinal qualities work well for everything. The proper
dosage varies and depends on how much is administered orally until the pain
is no longer felt. And you will not be ripped off with “name brands”
and dizzying choices for vodka either. You’re welcome.
Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that. How did you do that? Please
fill us in when you return.
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle
my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant
right in his/her office?
A. That sounds odd. Are you the donor or recipient? Back when heart
transplants were actually being performed, they were done in hospitals.
Check to see if your name is still on the list in case heart transplants
have been re-authorized. If your doctor really is “part of the program”
then there is no need to question the doctor as they all receive the same
top-notch training. Considering that you are risking nothing, and it
is all “free,” there's no harm in giving it a shot. What year are you
scheduled?
Q. Last week, I heard my neighbor Tom Brodsky talking about the government’s
healthcare system and he said “You never know how expensive something can
be until you get it for ‘free.’” What does that mean?
A. He was probably delirious from vodka that he was taking for his
stomach ache from cancer. The vodka had confused him the first time
we saw him one wintery day years ago when he complained about waiting a
mere 3 hours in line to write his name on the list. He collapsed then just
from standing in line and we rushed to care for him (providing crutches
- for “free” of course). The next day he was back again signing
up for treatment of pneumonia. We will never know what his latest riddle
meant because records indicate that he has since succumbed to the horrid
stomach disease. His name will be removed from the waiting list.
Thanks. It serves as proof of inadequate funding for socialized medicine.
Please contact your public officials and tell them to support increased funding
for socialized medicine in order to avoid further tragedies like that.
Q. How can socialism or government provide healthcare or anything for “free”
?
A. The wonder of socialism is very complex and difficult to explain and
you should not try to think about it too much, nor ask a lot of questions.
Just remember the one word that sums up socialism best: “Magic!”
Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. Yes, one big planned improvement is that your grandchildren will have
a device that is known as a “telephone” and this futuristic wonder (during
times when it is available and operating) will expedite socialized medicine
by enabling people to get on the lists without spending hours waiting in
line to write their names. Socialized medicine is always improving
and in the next century your name can be removed from our list as another
one of our “success” stories.
****************************
the original that was parodied
HMO's Explained
Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go
back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered
that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked
hard enough in the eye.
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Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor
I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer
will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The
doctors basically fall into two categories--those who are no longer accepting
new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating
in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the
plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away
and
a diploma from a third world country.
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Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
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Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
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Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
-------------------------------------------------------
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand.
I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should
I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
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Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.
-------------------------------------------------------
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant
right in his/her office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all your risking is the $20 co-payment,
there's no harm in giving it a shot.
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Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.
STOP NATIONAL SOCIALIST HEALTHCARE and the doctors who are the actual
chiefs of staff at the hospitals
Socialized medicine problems in America and the world: Josef Stalin, Chairman
Mao, Adolf Hitler http://rexcurry.net/socialists8b.jpg
Doctor Socialism
